girl

Posted: 07/04/2013 in Uncategorized

the girl made of stone

spent the night alone.

 

the girl made of air

kept cardinals in her hair.

 

the girl whose name was fair and fine

bathed in spit and iodine.

 

the girl who filled the clouds with rain

cried and cursed and went insane.

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Comments
  1. hedgewitch says:

    This just blew me away–each couplet seems as good as it could possibly be, yet each one trumps the previous, and the poem as a sum of those escalating parts is just…superb.

  2. lolamouse says:

    Woohoo! The return of Coal! This reads like a child’s rhyme of old but with a modern twist. I love it! I wish I could sketch-it would make for great illustrations!

  3. Welcome, Ms Coal. Always a pleasure to hear from you. “Spit and iodine” is a great line! When I was small, my mother used to tell us we needed a quick wash-up, which she called “a spit and a promise”.
    Hope Ms Shay is okay.
    Luv, K

  4. This is a haunting incantation, witch-like and spell-binding.

  5. I’ve not met coal black before but this was a mighty fine introduction.

  6. grapeling says:

    coal black is concentrated energy, I see now.
    terse and vivid. ~ M

  7. Mama Zen says:

    I get to come home to some Coal? Now, I’m happy!

  8. Coal crept out of retirement? That’s fantastic news.

    The last couplet was a perfect cap…”made of stone…spent the night alone…spit and iodine.” Powerful images, raw pain–what a way to begin my morning. 😉

  9. Liked your use of the elements here. Enjoyed.

  10. Timoteo says:

    Each couplet builds upon the previous one, gaining momentum until we go crazy with delight at the end.

  11. Marian says:

    oooh, the last line seals the deal.

  12. Ah, Coal, you are black, I mean back!! This EXquisite group of couplets reads a bit like Edmund Gorey in a way, that dark humor. The final stanza was the LIMIT. Truly, so glad you came out to play, hee hee. Amy

  13. Helen says:

    Whew!!! Mara Rooney could be cast in this killer poem. I loves me some coal …..

  14. That line really hits home for me…I was a tomboy dressed in scrapes and dirt. My mother was always doing the spit shine and iodine thing….Love this piece!

  15. dani says:

    this is just brilliant!!!

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