at motel hacienda, interstate ten

Posted: 09/16/2012 in house of crazy, house of strangers, house of women

beneath a crappy reproduction of some crappy Spanish scene,

you hogged the sheets and allowed as to how you dint think this was my first time to the dance.

“ain’t my last, neither,” I said, diggin my bra out of my boot and collectin’ my keys off the carpet.

(it ain’t the same bein’ cinderella

in texas.)


for Real Toads Sunday whatchacallit, and Fred Rutherford’s “firsts” thingie.

  1. But being the ugly step-sister is the same, no matter where you are. *Sigh*

  2. hobgoblin2011 says:

    Strong write. Love the phrasing. Cinderella in Texas, not sure if that’s a common expression or not, but I love the way it sounds, such a neat turn of phrase, and also, I love incorporating bits, many times pages of it, dialogue into my writing, so thought the bit in here was perfect. Dialogue, was one of the ideas I was deciding between for this prompt, so a treat for me for sure. Thanks for sharing today.

  3. Mary says:

    Cinderella in Texas has a hard life!! Smiles.

  4. There’s a hard edge to this scene, which I really like. The details of picking up her underwear and keys and the snappy reply affords the anti-romantic a wry smile.

  5. hedgewitch says:

    Those glass Nokonas never fit right. (One of my fave Emmy Lou songs makes it all better, though.)

  6. You should write romance novels!

  7. Hilarious! That last line is going to have me giggling all day.

  8. brian miller says:


    at least the food is good, so she can enjoy some of that as an encore.

  9. Love it – especially digging out the bra and picking up the keys and splitting. Good move!

  10. vbholmes says:

    Great descriptions–definitely chuckle worthy.

  11. Kim Nelson says:

    Freakin’ hilarious! And I think the boot is the best place for the bra in a joint like that.

  12. Love this…Cinderella has boots.

  13. Ella says:

    Damn, I need to tuck my bra in my boot more often.
    It is a good place for it after all, lol ;D
    Cinderella just met the wrong fella~
    Loved it!

  14. Your details and believable unique dialogue is such a treat, Coal. 🙂

  15. Being Cinderella in Texas – that opens the door to a whole ‘nother poem! Love your writing because you call it as you see it, you take no BS, and you give truth. Essence of great style. Peace, Amy

  16. dani says:

    Y’all come back now!

  17. margaretbednar says:

    The cowboy must not have been from Texas… as I recall, they have better matters than that and call every woman “ma’am. 🙂

  18. Teresa says:

    Love this! Cinderella has certainly changed throughout the years!

  19. Marian says:

    yeah, let’s blow this particular taco stand. pronto!

  20. Susan says:

    I love EmmyLou! Reading your poem, I flashed on “Thelma and Louise” and how they tried to drive around Texas. Cinderella is the clincher, hard to be her anywhere. And if you are a woman who likes to dance, midnight is too soon. And where does Texas keep the fairy godmothers?

  21. lolamouse says:

    You’re too good! Love it!

  22. Pearl says:

    Now THAT’S a short story!


  23. Oh my, how I-10 does go on. So many motels, so little time.

    I flippin’ LOVE these:

    “‘ain’t my last, neither,’ I said, diggin my bra out of my boot”

    “(it ain’t the same bein’ cinderella in texas.)”

    Coal, this is one of my favorites. And I sort of miss wearing boots and Rocky Mountain jeans. But only a little bit. 😉

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