me ‘n’ amy

Posted: 08/12/2012 in house of love, house of women

said he was goin’ fishin’ but he never came back,

not til now.

i’m guessin’ the fish he was after shook her tail real good heading upstream,

and if jesus heard my prayers, he picked up a mean std.

anyway, who you think listened to amy talk and talk about him,

through cherry garcia and chick flicks?

yeah, me, and i was glad to do it.

now he’s back, sleepin off whatever he done most recent,

and me ‘n’ amy are loosening the nuts on the right rear wheel of his ride.

Once I seen the wheel come off a little trailer and bounce bounce bounce

right across the road through traffic and straight at barney’s tire mart.

barney had big old plate glass windows and that tire bounced true and high and hit the divider square,

right between them windows, then fell dead.

i never saw nothing like it.

amy say, thanks girl, for helpin’ me sabotage this here fucker’s wheel.

well you know me. i’m more’n glad to do it.

  1. Susan says:

    Another fine story, vernacular-like, teasing me into smiling at the things I would never do but enjoy in fiction. Makes me smile. Hurray me!

  2. hedgewitch says:

    No one handles the lug wrench like coal. And Amy never had a better BFF. I hear afterwards they stopped by Mickey D’s for a fishwich.

  3. Hahaha! I love me some sweet revenge!
    This is one of my faves of coal – she knows how to stick by her friends.

  4. This is great. 🙂 I am particularly fond of the following section:

    “I’m guessin’ the fish he was after shook her tail real good heading upstream,
    and if jesus heard my prayers, he picked up a mean std”

  5. Reminds me of the Dixie Chicks “Goodbye Earl.” Too few get what they deserve…

  6. Margaret says:

    This is a mini script to a full feature movie! Love it.

  7. Ah, Miss Coal, I do love this here pome.
    After my first divorce, my friend J and I decided to write a soap opera called “Life in General” and, in it, we arranged for my ex to die from falling and hitting his head on an andiron.
    Of course, before that divorce, we tried to get a Sicilian friend to arrange to have my ex offed, but he was a tame Sicilian and didn’t know any of the other kind.
    We never thought about loosening wheel nuts. Good idea.

  8. Mama Zen says:

    A girl’s gotta have friends!

  9. dani says:

    i like your style, girl!

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