look, a rabbit

Posted: 03/11/2012 in house of love, house of women

woman was talkin

and let me tell you, she had more words

than col. sanders has birds.

she say

well let me tell you

and

if you ask me

and she touch my arm so often she wore a groove.

mama bring me up to listen nice, and i tried,

but soon my mind start to wander…

I craved to hear your voice in my ear

sayin hey sweetie, how’s my girl?

I hankered to hear one of your goofy tangents,

like, this place has *got* to have Twizzlers

or

look! a rabbit!

and pretty soon i was a million miles away and smilin.

woman say,

honey, where did you go?

i guess i went down the rabbit hole,

but she don’t need to know.

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Comments
  1. Mama Zen says:

    “she had more words

    than col. sanders has birds.”

    That is beyond cool.

  2. dani says:

    “and she touch my arm so often she wore a groove.”

    prob cuz she knew you wasn’t listenin! {giggle~snort} sorry…. well sorta sorry… i couldn’t help myself.
    {smile}

  3. lolamouse says:

    OMG, I know that woman! I think you just described a slice of my life in this one. Except I’m the one always looking for the Twizzlers and saying “Look! A rabbit!” or “A cardinal!” or “A turtle!” and driving whoever’s with me crazy!

  4. W.k.kortas says:

    Vernacular is so tough to do well, and this makes it look effortless. This is damn fine writing.

  5. hedgewitch says:

    Probably my cue to shut up, eh? I do that to people.

  6. Corey Rowley says:

    Fantastic look something so identifiable, but something I would never have thought to write about. You bring a not so subtle humanity to your writing, I like that.

  7. This reminds me how we all place importance on different things within the same sphere of social interaction – a woman focuses on her story, bullying to share it, while a listener pays attention to an inner voice. Coal Black is so very real.

  8. Cosmos Cami says:

    This is great!
    I loved the story telling around the woman’s story, which I enjoyed ignoring as well. šŸ™‚

  9. Marian says:

    yeah, i don’t wanna be there unless there’s Twizzlers.

  10. I LOVE this!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Mary says:

    Shades of Alice!! I love it.

  12. Ruth says:

    nice, creative – I like

    she had more words
    than col. sanders has birds.

  13. markwindham says:

    Absolutely love it! ‘wore grooves in my arm’ šŸ˜‰ I hate when people have to touch me when they talk.

  14. Teresa says:

    I love this! I have certainly met this lady a few times. Nothing to do but jump down that hole for a while when she’s on a roll.

  15. shawnacy says:

    you capture speech rhythms with a certainty and authenticity that i envy.
    that said, i’m a veteran half-listener (a natural outcome, i’m convinced, of having an appalling number of older aunts), regularly participating in one conversation while simultaneously sustaining imaginary conversations with people i actually wish to be talking to….
    …. i may have just inadvertently revealed more of the crazy than i was intending… read gently.

  16. Shawna says:

    Love this line: “and she touch my arm so often she wore a groove”

  17. zongrik says:

    you really told this story well, with an authentic voice

    four animal dedication senryu

  18. dianne7777 says:

    made me think of my Nana, which is a good good thing
    I love when I read something and can hear the voice

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