undelivered letter to a thirsty fan

Posted: 12/18/2011 in house of crazy, house of music

oh, fer sure,

tell me again

about the metal ballad you wrote

on the bottom of a chicken nuggets box

fifteen years ago.

imma really try

to work it into my one hit song

as a bridge or something,

and yes,

i’ll sing it again tonight

and no,

we never get tired of it.

fer sure dude,

i bet what you said is true

i just never met the right man

and yes,

it would be great if you watched,

and no,

i wouldn’t shine you on.

fer sure,

it had to be fate

that made your bro larry bring you to our gig.

when the show is over and we go wherever we go,

and you’re done watchin and i’m done sinnin,

we’ll go straight to church and get married.

and no,

i won’t forget your ballad when i’m crankin out your kids,

and yes,

you best believe

i’ll be wantin fries with that.


  1. Ha! I bet she writes these all the time 🙂

  2. hedgewitch says:

    Hilarious! Coal is so tender hearted NOT. Perfect accompanying clip, also. Yeesh– the weird ones are everywhere.

  3. Heaven says:

    Crazy and creative..ha..ha… I enjoyed the ballad or letter ~

  4. I so loved this, especially “I’ll be wantin fries with that”. I adore Coal Black:)

  5. Mama Zen says:

    This is hilarious!

  6. Laurie Kolp says:

    This is great…I love the last four lines.

  7. TOO funny. I love it.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

  8. dani says:

    HA! awesome, dudette! ♥

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