shy-town cheerful refund avocado blues

Posted: 07/26/2011 in house of crazy, house of music

he said coal you’re like a double bacon avocado burger–

delicious, hot and stacked…

he said coal you’re like a mean double avocado burger–

delicious, hot and stacked…

but i got to dispose of you properly baby,

and that’s a natural fact.

he left me standin at the bus stop

in chicago illinois

he left me standin at the crap-ass bus stop

in chicago illinois

but he left his memory in my baggage bin

and i can’t forget that boy.

i’m an unused portion of product

past my expiration date

i’m an unused portion of product

past my expiration date

but ain’t no second chances, fool, ain’t no three second rule

pretty baby it’s too late.

 

_____

linked to d’verse poets

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Comments
  1. DW says:

    OMG this is amazing! True brilliance.

    and Ive been to a bus station in chicago…. ugggg 😦

  2. hedgewitch says:

    Goodtime Coalie’s got the blues. That product line is sharp as a box knife.

  3. I love the way this poem was written. Perfect blues form. I could feel the emotion tearing out of my screen!

  4. great piece.. nice bluesy feel.

  5. Brendan says:

    I can hear Winehouse whistling along from the boneyard somewhere out beyond the stockyards … Go Cubs.

  6. clawfish says:

    Feels comfortable and smooth a pleasure to read

  7. Mama Zen says:

    “delicious, hot and stacked…”

    Oh, have mercy!

  8. This reads like the lyrics to a song, sad to be left behind but, lovely!

  9. brian says:

    damn coal…the repitition is spot on…i hear a smokey voice with all kinda attitude dropping this in his lap like a spilled cup of coffee….

  10. Doveonfire says:

    Full of personality and swag…. an ass kicker…… no doubt

  11. Kelvin S. M. says:

    ..lusciously baked though salted by tears.. i like it.. well done!(:

  12. signed .............bkm says:

    Nice one…the Chicago bus station….think I have been there….left the city years ago….must have been that three second rule…bkm

    • i’m an unused portion of product
      past my expiration date

      I once spent a blazingly hot Chicago day waiting for my luggage in the basement of the Amtrak station. I can hear her blues.

  13. Joanne Elliott aka soulsprite says:

    Good sound! All blues and attitude poured out nice and slow.

  14. dani says:

    nobody does the blues like you, Coal! ♥

  15. You’ve made me hungry now! lol Just love the ‘beat’ in this…as others have said, you do it so well.. 🙂

  16. Gay says:

    No 3 second rule – you can’t pick me up and eat me now even if I’m stacked!
    I flat out love this – true chi-town blues baby and I’ll feel blues happy all over reading it. Your blues rocks, Ms. Coal!

  17. ayala says:

    Amazing !
    🙂

  18. Heaven says:

    Do you sing? I can hear it… love these lines:

    i’m an unused portion of product
    past my expiration date

  19. Joe Hesch says:

    What key are we playing this baby in, Coal? I’m in tune with this razor-slice of life BigTime! Hate to hear about your bad times, sister, but they made me smile. I’m left with only one question, though. When’s your next show? Youve got a new fan and I want more.

  20. Lori McClure says:

    What a wonderful way to tell the story. Loved this!

  21. Can we get this recited in a dimly lit room, with smoke in the air (not cigarette, maybe some good incense), with some bass, acoustic guitar, some drums and maybe a horn or 2 playing lightly in the background; with MASS snaps at the end?
    Okay … my mind is running away with me nevertheless – I loved this … it just feels like … sexy even though he leaves.

  22. C Rose says:

    This is good, the refrain lines so perfectly placed in the flow and the subtle emotions are tangible. Great write ~ Rose

  23. Truly says:

    Loved it! We all filled unused and past our expiration date sometimes. But you have made the feeling come alive with your words.

  24. Anna says:

    Love the sound and feel of this piece!

  25. Carys says:

    Yep, these would make great song lyrics. The repetition works very well. Fab title!

  26. lolamouse says:

    Great blues! I hate avocado though.

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