dumbass jesus

Posted: 02/17/2011 in house of fools

he walked out on the water

like some dumbass jesus,

holdin up a bottle of bud

like it was a tablet with the

holy lunch menu on it.

it had got warm the last couple days,

and he fell through the ice

with a sound like god done got sick of him

and just shot his  butt.

when his cousins finally pulled him out

by a rope

tied to a pick up truck,

he were colder’n a landlord’s smile

but he could still move just enough

to pump his fist once

like he just won

the Kentucky Derby of stupid.

  1. This is wicked good, and funny. “colder’n a landlord’s smile” and the “Kentucky Derby of stupid”……this voice is so authentic, one would think you were raised in the south.

  2. Mama Zen says:

    This is fucking hilarious! And, I’m pretty sure I know that guy.

  3. wkkortas says:

    It’s funny (and also well-built, visual, and with pitch-perfect use of vernacular), but funny in the way stupid is funny, which is to point the way from funny to pathetic and dumb-ass.

  4. hedgewitch says:

    Hey I know that guy! His name is Dwayne, idn’t it?

    Most excellent fare, coalish one.

  5. sue j says:

    Another good one. Made me laugh.

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